The Husbands

This #thankyouthursday, I’m grateful for The Husbands, by Chandler Baker.

The book is engaging and satisfying from a plot perspective, but what really got to me were the many depictions of modern motherhood and the seemingly inexplicable inequity of domestic partnership.

I’m grateful to have a feminist partner who takes on a lot, but even so, I found myself highlighting plenty of excerpts, and then reading those excerpts aloud to my partner, and then having helpful conversations about why those excerpts had spoken to me.

It almost felt like I was reading the book two ways at once: there was the “wow this is such an enjoyable and compelling mystery and I can’t wait for the inevitable TV or film adaptation” experience, and there was also the “oh my god I feel so SEEN and also WHY is it LIKE this?” experience.

And although the story didn’t exactly offer replicable solutions, the author’s note that followed made some useful points. Such as:

But criticism on an individual scale diverts focus from the critique of entrenched gender norms that still haunt our culture today. We can elbow and push all we want for every packed lunch, picked-up towel, put-away pan, and scheduled doctor’s appointment, but until paternity leave is normalized, until schools call fathers about sick kids as often as they call mothers, until sons are given not just the same number of chores but the same types as daughters, until the helpless sitcom dad with a tool belt isn’t quite so loveable, I’m skeptical of how much ground we’re really gaining.

So, yeah, I am grateful for The Husbands. It’s not often I encounter a pleasure read that also gets me thinking about—and improving!—my day-to-day behaviors and expectations.

Plus, The Husbands made me appreciate my spouse and all that we’re working toward, including my professional goals. Which, speaking of my professional goals, mark your calendars for November 26. I look forward to sharing more soon!

Love > fear,
Christina

p.s. I am also grateful for the song “Pluto” by Jake Wesley Rogers, which merits a #thankyouthursday post of its own, but I just discovered it less than an hour ago so a postscript mention will have to do.