The full weight of a small body, sleeping on me
This #thankyouthursday, I am grateful for the full weight of a small body, sleeping on me.
Eight weeks ago yesterday, someone stole my car.
Three weeks ago today, we moved to a new house.
In the last couple weeks, two of my friends have lost their fathers, my partner has been sick, my grandmother needed surgery, and I had to part ways with my childcare provider.
Right now, as I type this one-handed while lying down, my 16-month-old son is asleep on top of me, his body draped horizontally across mine, the heft of his head pressing into my neck.
I am so grateful for the full weight of a small body, sleeping on me.
Hard things happen. That’s life, I know this is true. But joyful things happen too.
My stolen car was found and repaired. The new house is starting to feel like home. My grandmother’s surgery was successful.
I choose to believe there is more good than bad, that everything tends to work out (albeit not necessarily in my timeframe or to my understanding). But mostly I believe in making peace with the here and now, which is to say I believe in breathing.
When I can feel the full weight of a small body, sleeping on me, it is easy to focus on breathing. And when I listen to breath, it steers me toward stillness, toward acceptance and appreciation.
Rest and trust and awareness: I am grateful for so many things.
Love > fear,
Christina