Space for disappointment
This #thankyouthursday, I am grateful for space for disappointment.
I could just say I’m grateful for disappointment, but that’s not how I feel. And while—thank goodness—we definitely do NOT have to FEEL grateful in order to SAY we are grateful and thus receive the benefits of expressing gratitude, I still prefer to mean what I’m saying on #thankyouthursday.
And I can’t say I’m feeling grateful for disappointment. For me, disappointment feels pretty awful. In fact, it feels like the more hopeful (aka vulnerable) I allow myself to be, the more the disappointment stings.*
*My therapist friend assures me this is not true; she says disappointment stings the same whether or not we first have hope. And maybe she’s right, but as a chronically hopeful person, I wouldn’t know.
So, yeah, today I don’t feel grateful for disappointment itself. However, I am easily, deeply grateful for the space I can allow for disappointment. I don’t have to deny or diminish my pain, nor do I have to intensify or dwell on it. I can just…wait. Be with it. Give it some space.
By now you have probably concluded that I have experienced some disappointment this week. True! And it has sucked. But I have given it space. I have allowed my feelings to swell and subside; I have let myself go along for the ride. Some time has passed. The sting is fading. The space is remaining. The gratitude is growing.
Love > fear,
Christina